1. |
Introduction
00:19
|
|||
2. |
One Line Prayers
01:22
|
|||
|
Thyself, thou shalt fucketh
Lord, end this day and end my suffering
With all that is ugly around me, I ask thee,
Lord, to take my eyes
Please, Lord, keep thy filthy children away
from me
May I go through this day without beheading
the next person I see
Dear Lord, grant me the willpower to drink
this bottle and the blessing to forget what I
am about to do
Lord, relieve me the duty to honor those for
whom I never cared
O Lord, cast away all that is green in this
garden
Lord, I lovingly beg thee to bring thy wrath
upon my enemies
For those who art witless, I pray thou remove
their ability to speak, Lord
Lord, bless nothing
Lord, bless my sins for they art all I have
If thou cannot give me courage, Lord, then
let this drink show me salvation
|
||||
3. |
Adoration
00:38
|
|||
|
O, glorious, grotesque God
We stand beneath thee, bathing in thy
terrible, blinding light
Thou know all our suffering
Yet know better than to help
Thou hold all power
And cannot lift the boulder thou created
Thou art limitless
Outside the limits of our understanding
Genius, thou art
For bestowing on us enough knowledge of
thy divine presence
But not enough to know thy tricks
O Lord, we love thee for reasons we do not
understand
|
||||
4. |
Gratitude
00:25
|
|||
|
Lord, thou hast given me great suffering
For which I am grateful
For the pain I never needed
For the misery thou bestowed
For the burdens I have inherited
I am indebted to thee, Lord, for the terrible
debts thou hast gifted me
Thank thee for this life I never wanted
|
||||
5. |
Blessings
00:32
|
|||
|
Lord, bless thee for thy curses
Bless this poison that is our food
Bless this prison that is our home
Bless others for their ignorance
Bless strangers for their distance
Bless my enemies with a painful death
Bless the elderly who live too long
Bless children who should never be
Bless us for reasons we cannot understand
And bless me for nothing
|
||||
6. |
Meal Blessings
00:36
|
|||
|
O terrible Lord,
Bless this meager meal we do not wish to eat
Bless the farmers thou forgot grew this food
May this meal sustain us another day we hope
will end
May it bloat our bellies
And weigh heavy on our fragile bones
May this food feed us and only us
And may all at this table choke with every
bitter bite
|
||||
7. |
Thanksgiving
00:27
|
|||
|
We give thee begrudging thanks, Lord
We thank thee for the food we cannot eat
We thank thee for the roof over our heads
That will crumble at any moment
We thank thee for our loved ones
Who will betray us someday
We thank thee for the riches
Always in sight but out of reach
We thank thee, Lord, for nothing
|
||||
8. |
Confession
00:30
|
|||
|
I confess a transgression
A weight on my soul
I ask, Lord, for thou to take this weight on
my shoulders
And make it twofold
So that I may carry it to and fro
Do not relieve me of this toll
I ask thou let it grow
So that it may crush my spirit
Into the great void from which I came - the
All Nothing
This is what I deserve
|
||||
9. |
Vows
00:27
|
|||
|
Lord, give me the strength to do less
I vow to dishonor my family
To dismiss what I have
To bemoan what I've lost
I vow to break my promises
To disappoint those I love
To curse those I despise
I vow to be worse
So that I may sink into the All Nothing from
which I came
|
||||
10. |
Quiet Reflection
00:30
|
|||
|
I look into the river
To stare into the reflection
To gaze upon the truth I could not see before
I see a face that is worn, sullen, and gray
Leather'd and without spirit
My body is a vessel for the soul
And my soul is a stillborn breeze
I look inside myself for answers
And find nothing
|
||||
11. |
Healing
00:37
|
|||
|
May these wounds - physical or spiritual -
Never heal
May these sores - Real or imagined -
Never close
May these cuts - carved by myself or others -
Forever bleed
May this sickness - gifted by man or God -
Ravage my body and soul
And should these ailments pass,
Let them turn my body into stone
And sink to the bottom of the lake
May the All Nothing embrace me
|
||||
12. |
Deliverance
00:29
|
|||
|
O terrible Lord,
Deliver unto me
My burdens are too great to carry
Prove thy benevolence
As I have yet to witness
Help me with my struggles
That thou insist I suffer alone
Give me the strength thou hoard
Help me through this torture of thy choosing
For once, show mercy to thy powerless
pawns
|
||||
13. |
Supplication
00:27
|
|||
|
O selfish Lord,
Thou hast me begging like a dog
A mongrel salivating for thy scraps
I am on my knees
Like a bitter and desperate harlot
I plead to thee
To spare my useless life
To cleanse my soul of sin
Only for it to be tainted again
Please, Lord,
Give me what I do not deserve
|
||||
14. |
Intercession
00:35
|
|||
|
Lord, hear my prayer for others
For they art too weak and proud
To call upon thee
I ask thou come down from your throne
And guide these pitiful peasants
They know not what they do
Though they do nothing
Should thou let them suffer alone
I pray that it is to teach them a lesson
That can only be explained by thy mysterious
ways
Hear my empty prayer
So I may fill myself with righteousness
|
||||
15. |
Transformation
00:39
|
|||
|
O ungodly Lord,
I am a pitiful sack of flesh
My body has no feature
Others covet
My thoughts hold no depth
Others admire
My soul exudes no qualities
Others desire
My morals are barren
My heart is empty
Lord, wrap me in a cocoon
So that my metamorphosis
Brings me a new form
With wings that will allow me to fly far away
from myself
I pray thou play no cruel tricks
That will molt me into a worm or worse
|
||||
16. |
New Love
00:38
|
|||
|
I discovered a new flame
That will soon be distinguished
A new sun
Whose blinding light I will tolerate
A new rose
Whose petals will wither
A new breath of air
That will betray my lungs
A new, ruby heart
That will turn to stone
A new spirit
Waiting to break
Bless this new love in my life
Who I will resent
Bless this love that will not last
|
||||
17. |
Wedding
00:36
|
|||
|
May this union
Whether by lust or duty
Last as long as it has to
May this matrimony
Whether by choice or obligation
Receive no more blessings than it deserves
I take thee as my companion
Against better judgment
To care for thee in sickness
Regardless if thou deserve good health
To unite our spirits
Knotted and tangled in a terrible web
For better or for worse
I am forced to choose thee
My lover by default
|
||||
18. |
Marriage
01:04
|
|||
|
I vow to stay with thee as I always have
To turn a blind eye to thy transgressions
As I hope thou would do to mine
I vow to express my love that has worn thin
Our souls are snarled and cannot be undone
As our union requires, I am bound to thee
Dutifully shackled, lovingly imprisoned
Never for better but for worse
In sickness over health
Only in merciful death; the gracious All
Nothing, do we part
|
||||
19. |
Fertility - Women
00:33
|
|||
|
Should this womb be filled,
Let it be so a child may grow
Into another murrain; a cancer on this earth
May this child be a burden
And drain the lives who dare come near
Should this womb be without child
Let it be forever barren
Let no seed plant
And only absence grow
May it bring no joy into this world
|
||||
20. |
Fertility - Men
00:32
|
|||
|
Should this seed be fruitful
May it be virulent and violent
May it taint the womb
Fester and spread
May it plague many more
And with it bring life with no mercy
Should this seed be fruitless
May it infect the womb
May this seed never plant
And turn this soil black
Let it bring no life into this cursed world
|
||||
21. |
Pregnancy
00:26
|
|||
|
Should this child grow,
May it feel the mother’s pain
Lord, bless the mother’s cursed body
So that the child may come
And with it bring destruction
Should this child shrink,
May it return to the All Nothing
Into the void where it belongs
May the dark bring comfort
To a child that never was
|
||||
22. |
Birth
00:50
|
|||
|
O terrible Lord,
A child is upon us
May its passage be beastly and noisome
And may it wreak havoc and hell fire
Let this child come into this world
Carrying the shame of its ancestors
Bless this child’s cursed arrival
But should this birth be empty
Let the body release the soul
So what remains will be a memorial in flesh
A hollow vessel, reminding us of the great
terrors it may have brought onto this earth
May its corpse be a church, honoring what
almost was
|
||||
23. |
Family
00:38
|
|||
|
I honor my family against my choosing
I honor my brothers for their arrogance
My sisters for their ugliness
My mother for her tainted womb
My father for his absence
I honor my ancestors who came before me;
The reason for my broken spirit
And my children for robbing it
I honor my loved ones I never loved
The family I regret choosing
The family I will never know
And the family I despise knowing
Lord, bless this cursed family
|
||||
24. |
Money Troubles
00:38
|
|||
|
O terrible Lord,
I am cast with rags
When I demand riches
Thou make me wither
As I wane for wealth
I wish to swim in great luxury
But thou hast me drown in debt
O cruel lord,
Thou taunt me with this grand, green earth
But hold me in a sinking desert
I see the freedom others buy
While I am imprisoned in poverty
Rubies out of reach
Pound foolish
Penny poor
Thou brought me into a world I cannot
afford
|
||||
25. |
||||
|
For those who have wronged me,
May I find it in my spirit to never forgive
them
May I drain my heart of all love
And fill it with poison
So that my enemies shall drink it
Let them taste every last bitter drop
For every ounce of misgiving I’ve received,
I pray for them a pound of pain
They shall suffer as I’ve suffered
But more so
|
||||
26. |
Transgressions - Caused
00:33
|
|||
|
For those who I have wronged,
Pride shall streak upon my smile
What they received is what they deserved
And should I remain on this earth,
They shall receive more of my gifts
So that they art reminded of my presence;
Putrid and pitiful
Vengeful and spiteful
Just as they art
Yes, Lord - my pain is a gift
That I shall give unto the world
|
||||
27. |
Forgiving Others
01:07
|
|||
|
O vengeful Lord,
I ask thou punish every person; every
offscouring who hath wronged me
I do not release my grudges
I will hold them tight so they will pull me
down
Like rocks sewn into my garb
Down into this sacred pit of bitterness;
The glorious All Nothing
I ask thou show my trespassers no mercy
As they do not deserve such luxury
Worthy of my forgiveness, they art not
|
||||
28. |
Asking for Forgiveness
00:26
|
|||
|
It is with an empty heart that I confess to
thee, Lord
I have wronged another
I do not bare the burden of apologies
As my wrongdoing was righteous
I will not beg them for forgiveness
I shall take it from them
I pray they will forget my trespassing
Just as I will forget them entirely
|
||||
29. |
Forgiving Thyself
00:31
|
|||
|
I have committed great sin
And my soul is wrapped in the grip of guilt;
Tightened in its grasp
I know not if I can carry on
Lord, I am weak and unworthy
Just as thou hast made me
I am not worth my own forgiveness
I pray to return to the void that is the great
All Nothing
Let the dark bring me comfort
From the pain I brought unto myself
|
||||
30. |
Loving Thy Neighbor
00:29
|
|||
|
O terrible Lord,
Keep my neighbors at bay
Keep my walls to protect me
From their pestilence
I vow to only love my neighbor when they
art afar
Should their welcome invade my comfort,
Then their greeting is a betrayal
Cast them out for their insolence
And leave me in peace
|
||||
31. |
Good Health
00:37
|
|||
|
For now, this body is in good health
Like a short lasting fruit
For now, my flesh is ripe
Before it rots in the sun
For now, my bones can carry this weight
Long enough before it crumbles
For now, my heart beats to the drum
Beaten by a drummer who will soon grow
tired
For now, my legs walk forward
Stumbling before snapping like twigs
For now, I am alive
And the worst has yet to come
|
||||
32. |
Declining Health
00:31
|
|||
|
My body is failing me;
Draining itself dry
A stumble towards death
A betrayal with every breath
My legs succumbing to the weak
My chest seduced by aches
My carnal form is dwindling
To a vessel less useful than before
My sunlight is suffocating from the clouds
But the night will not come soon enough
|
||||
33. |
Death
01:15
|
|||
|
This is the end, isn’t it, Lord?
Hast thou betrayed me?
Hast thou bestowed unto me
A life I never wanted?
A life bloated with regret
Torn asunder from aimless pain
Lead astray and lost in the search of meaning
A destiny forced unto me
Under the guise of free will
Choices I had no choice to make
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
O terrible Lord, thou played me one last cruel joke
And now I look back with no laughter
All is null
O cruel Lord, show me mercy
And bring me to thy heavenly kingdom;
A paradise promised
Should thou not let me pass through thy gate,
Then I pray to return to the All Nothing
Let the dark bring me comfort I’ve never known
Bring me peace I never had
|
||||
Lou Kelly California
Lou Kelly is a creator of distracting background music from somewhere in California.
If you like Lou Kelly, you may also like:
Laughing In My Sleep
by The Cradle
On his latest LP, Paco Cathcart sketches life in Brooklyn in remarkable detail.
go to album
Haunting orchestral songs from London-based band, produced by musical wizard Matthew Herbert.
go to album
CRYING AROUND AND IN COLOR
by BELOVED SUN
The duo of Artist Named You and Sol Galeano present their debut together, a conceptual and adventurous modern R&B album.
go to album
Melvins fans will flip for this lost ’90s indie classic, with its sludgy guitars, hypnotic rhythms and irresistible hooks. Essential.
go to album
Bizzare and darkly funny prank phone calls from comedian/painter/writer/actress Mary Houlihan.
go to album
Bracing post-hardcore meets festival-ready rock on the Tokyo band's sharp new EP, mixed and mastered by Will Yip (Turnstile, Title Fight).
go to album
Lost Themes IV: Noir
by John Carpenter
The latest installment of John Carpenter’s celebrated “Lost Themes” is now available for pre-order.
go to album
