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From The Vault: Sore Losers

by Lou Kelly

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Poesy Rider
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Poesy Rider Quelques bonnes surprises de derrière les fagots et plein de bonnes trouvailles, comme sur tous les albums de Lou Kelly ! Favorite track: Gotta Gotta Go (To Home Depot).
Sweety Chicky Jam
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Sweety Chicky Jam weird, orchestral, funny, prog.. one of my favs from 2019 Favorite track: Gee, I Hope Rob Likes This.
Light
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Light It is a shame that "B-Sides" from Lou Kelly is better than any albums that came out today. CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED Favorite track: Gee, I Hope Rob Likes This.
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I wanna buy online and pick up in the store. BOPIS. BOPIS. Extensive product knowledge from the bolts to the doors. InFocus. InFocus. Always taking me back to the good old race track. Competitive prices on heavy duty hoes Well, buddy, don't you know? ---verse--- You gotta, gotta, gotta GO to Home Depot Yeah, you gotta, gotta GO to Home Depot Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't wanna go to a place like Ace. No, I wanna go to... ...to the Home Depot ---chorus--- I don't want no curtains but I need some decent blinds. Shutters. Shutters. My garden's gettin' flooded and I'm really in a bind. Gutters. Gutters. Angels in orange, find me a good door-hinge. When you don't have a clue and you need a pro Well, buddy, don't you know? ---verse--- ...I ain't ever gonna go to Lowe's... ---chorus--- ---unnecessary guitar solo--- ---chorus--- ...You get the idea.
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Rust 01:56
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about

Since 2012, I've submitted a handful of songs to various music contests. Here they are in (almost) chronological order.

If you're really bored, click on the track info (or read below) to find out what contests I've submitted to, the prizes to be had, and whether or not I won anything.

TRACK 1
CONTEST: Beta Monkey Music Funk Hybrid III (2012)
CONTEXT: Make a song using select drum loops and samples from Beta Monkey's Funk Hybrid III.
PRIZE: Drum loops and samples.
OUTCOME: One of the winners.

TRACK 2
Contest: Beta Monkey Music DBM1 (2013)
Context: Make a song using select drum loops and samples from Beta Monkey's DBM1 (Double Bass Mania Volume 1 Reloaded).
Prize: Drum loops and samples.
Outcome: One of the winners.

TRACK 3
CONTEST: Impact Soundworks Juggernaut (2013)
CONTEXT: Make a song using samples from Impact Soundworks' Cinematic Synthetic Drums sample pack.
PRIZE: Impact Soundworks' sample library Juggernaut and other sample libraries (I think?)
OUTCOME: One of the many runner-ups (runners-up? Whatever's the plural for runner-up)

TRACK 4
CONTEST: Home Depot Stars (2014)
CONTEXT: Home Depot employees submit a video showing off their talents (singing, dancing, etc).
PRIZE: Perform on stage for all the Home Depot store managers.
OUTCOME: Loser (actually, now that I look back it, I think I almost got fired for my shenanigans).

You can find my video submission here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWJO2tjKqRY

TRACK 5
CONTEST: Samplephonics Design A Genre (2013)
CONTEXT: Submit any songs of your creation that you believe is a new genre or at least a combination of existing genres that results in a new sub-genre or 'hybrid'.
(Allegedly) fun fact: I also created and submitted the song 'Brood Metal' for this contest which I later used for my album Hooligans.
PRIZE: My memory's hazy but I think it was some sample packs and over $1000 worth of audio equipment (midi controllers, studio monitors, plus producer software...things like that).
OUTCOME: Loser.

TRACK 6
CONTEST: Spitfire Audio Drum Off Competition (2015)
CONTEXT: Create a song only using samples from Spitfire Audio's free LABS drum sample library (Ollie Waton Drums). Song had to be 2 minutes or less.
PRIZE: Over $2000 worth of sample libraries from Spitfire Audio (including their drum library they were promoting – The Grange).
OUTCOME: 1st place winner

TRACK 7
CONTEST: Impact Soundworks Shreddage Songwriting Competition (2016)
CONTEXT: Create a song using any of Impact Soundworks' sample libraries from their Shreddage series.
PRIZE: One of Impact Soundworks' sample libraries from their Shreddage series that they were promoting at the time.
OUTCOME: Loser.

TRACK 8
CONTEST: Rob Scallon's 'DJENT IS DEAD' Contest (2018)
CONTEXT: Use both of YouTuber Rob Scallon's goofy riffs in a song. The only rule was that at some point, both riffs are used at least once and are recognizable.
PRIZE: Rob Scallon's signature model guitar (6 or 8 string)
OUTCOME: Loser

See Rob Scallon's video explaining the contest here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWpK345dbtk
See my video with text 'play-by-play' commentary here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztDFhlXhRds

TRACK 9
CONTEST: Metapop/Native Instruments Lazer Dice Competition (2018)
CONTEXT: Create a song that uses any of the selected samples from Native Instruments' expansion pack - Lazer Dice. I created the song using strictly those selected samples.
PRIZE: I think 1st prize was Komplete 11 (boatload of sample libraries and plugins) and an A-Series keyboard/midi controller. I don't remember.
OUTCOME: Loser (probably. I don't know. I didn't get an email and I didn't bother to check on the status after I submitted it).

TRACK 10
CONTEST: Westworld Competition hosted by Spitfire Audio (2020).
CONTEXT: Compose/produce original music to a chase scene from the TV show Westworld. What you're listening here is only the music and I made painstaking efforts for the rhythm to match a lot of the movement on screen.
PRIZES: Winner gets the Spitfire Everything drive (roughly $20,000 worth of sample libraries). 5 Runners Up get Spitfire Symphony Orchestra. Winners and Runners Up get a signed Westworld vinyl.
OUTCOME: Loser

See my video submission with the scene and audio from the Westworld clip:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGzMBZ8amXU&lc=UgzEZtH5fvyOrHo_a3B4AaABAg

credits

released February 9, 2019

As usual, unless explicitly stated otherwise, all music by Lou Kelly.

TRACK 8 - I guess technically Rob Scallon would get a songwriting credit as the whole point of the song was to take his riffs and make something new.

Album cover: I googled "vintage boxers" and this popped up. I can't find the original author and all I know is that they're sideshow boxers from the early 1900's (at least that's what Pinterest tells me).

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Lou Kelly California

Lou Kelly is a creator of distracting background music from somewhere in California.

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