1. |
Bad News Brothers
03:42
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Momma said we need a hobby so we picked up smokin'
(We) never use a rubber cuz they always end up broken.
We go to the church for the taste of cheap wine.
We got the kind of faces no mother could love.
Bad tattoos in places you don't want to think of.
You say we're worse than bad. Well, that's just fine.
Oooh, la la la la. Ooooh la la la la
Oooh, la la la la. Ooooh la la la la
We make piss taste smooth and sweet.
We're the mold to your meat
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the reason why you lose
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the rich man's blues
(Dog-faced lovers)
We just can't help but say that
today's a good day for bad news.
The day we were born, Papa said we looked old.
The plaque on our teeth was the closest we had to gold.
We got no lovers or friends, just lice and fleas
Oooh, la la la la. Ooooh la la la la
Oooh, la la la la. Ooooh la la la la
We're the reason why you drink.
Don't swim, just sink to our level
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the reason why you lose
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the rich man's blues
(Dog-faced lovers)
We just can't help but say that
today's a good day for bad news.
Sons of Satan need the Devil's daughters
We'll be the fever to your hot and bothered.
So come on down, so come on down
to the dark and dirty South.
Like a bitch, we're the itch that never leaves.
We rip the heart right off of your sleeve.
Honey, don't worry.
Why you in a hurry to
run back home up North?
Drink up
Nah nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah ladi-dadi-da bah
bah-boom Bah.
Bah-ooga. Muh-a-e-a-e-oogah.
Nah nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah ladi-dadi-da bah
bah-boom Bah.
Bah-ooga. Muh-a-e-a-e-oo
juh-boo-boo
Boom. Pow
Boom. Pow.
We make piss taste smooth and sweet.
We're the mold to your rotten meat.
We're the reason why you drink.
Don't swim just sink.
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the reason why you lose
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the rich man's blues
(Dog-faced lovers)
We just can't help but say that
today's a good day for bad news.
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the worst, we're the worst
(Bad News Brothers)
We're the worst, we're the worst
(Dog-faced lovers)
We just can't help but say that
today's a good day to be bad in the worst way
So shut up and make way for bad news.
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2. |
Past Life Regressions
02:39
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I'm stuck in a hole
so I eat my way out
with blood in my mouth
my mother screams for mercy
They rip me from the womb (ow)
Tie my limbs together
like a gift of flesh.
Baptized in my own filth.
What a warm welcome.
Mud and stone
blood and bone
My soul is just smoke
from the ash
swept underneath
the sludge and trash
The ground opens up and swallows me.
Promises I'll never be free.
Become one with the dirt.
Dreams of days before my birth
Mud and stone
blood and bone
Reborn in the city of stone
In a temple of bones.
This is the land the gods forgot.
Mud and stone
blood and bones take me all the way back home
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3. |
Filthy Feline
03:17
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In a mean world of mice and fleas and no Band-aids to cover your knee,
Lies a raggedy feline or rather a tiny lion.
Her breath's spoiled from sour milk. Her coat's not exactly smooth as silk.
She sifts through the trash to feast on apple cores, peach pits, and grease.
She preys on those with awful woes who live in soiled pantyhose.
She feels like life's a bitch when she
can't scratch an itch.
She can't deny the glee she gets when her prey screams “SAVE ME”.
No one has ever escaped her...
Claws.
The worst of it all,
Pinned down with your face in the dirt.
Can't get up to crawl.
Goddamn filthy feline with blood on her claws.
(She) takes impeccable care licking murder off her paws.
Such an ugly scowl
Make you screech and howl.
She's the filthiest feline with blood on her claws.
Ev'ry hump gave her a litter and with ev'ry batch made her bitter.
So she walked her kittens down the street to test the theory if cats can really land on their feet.
Tossed them off the bridge by the scruff of their necks to see her babies fly
It could be worst. They could be under her...
Claws.
The worst of it all,
Pinned down with your face in the dirt.
Can't get up to crawl.
Goddamn filthy feline with blood on her claws.
(She) takes impeccable care licking murder off her paws.
Such an ugly scowl
Make you screech and howl.
She's the filthiest feline with blood on her claws.
Goddamn filthy feline with blood on her claws.
(She) takes impeccable care licking murder off her paws.
Such an ugly scowl
Make you screech and howl.
She's the filthiest feline with blood on her claws.
Hungrier than swine who eats her mice raw.
Ugly but divine despite her flaws.
The filthiest feline.
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4. |
||||
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I ain't a tree, I'm a stump.
A camel without a hump.
I ain't no rose. I'm a thorn.
I'm a baby who was never born.
Wide shut
I'm a pure mutt
I'm the world's fattest skeleton.
I have yet to got where I've been.
Yeah, I'm soft as grit
And I'm clean as shit
determined to quit.
You know, I heard some rumors since I've been deaf...
Hey, muthuh-lovuh, what the heck you say to me?
Has anybody told ya I'm a little crazy?
I scream my throat out without saying a word.
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd.
Don't you do
What I say.
I demand to never have it my way.
I'm as pretty as the most perfect turd.
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd.
I always tell the tell the truth unless (I'm under oath)
Between a 'No' or a 'Yes' (always choose both)
I've never felt so alive (since I've been dead)
I got foil on my head
I am as quaint as a murderous saint
When I'm up South.
Sweet, gentle parental discretion's void
And I'm happily annoyed.
Yeah, I'm soft as grit
and I'm clean as shit
You know I'm overjoyed to throw a fit.
Determined to quit.
I've opened my eyes since I've been blind...
Hey, muthuh-lovuh, what the heck you say to me?
Has anybody told ya I'm a little crazy?
I scream my throat out without saying a word.
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd.
Don't you do
What I say.
I demand to never have it my way.
I'm as pretty as the most perfect turd.
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd.
I'm obscenely coy.
The world's oldest boy.
Enough of the fluff. Let's get to the beef...
Hey, motherFUCKer, what the FUCK you say to me?
Didn't I FUCKin' tell you that I'm FUCKin' crazy?
I scream my throat out without saying a word.
It makes so much sense it's perfectly absurd.
FUCK you, motherFUCKer. What the FUCK you say to me?
Didn't I FUCKin' tell you that I'm FUCKin' crazy?
That's one too many FUCKs to put in one FUCKin' song.
Well, I say FUCK you.
You're FUCKin' wrong.
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5. |
Pseudo Sonata
02:04
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Okay...
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6. |
Lost In The Depths
03:05
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We're sinking and shrinking and thinking that we might be lost here.
Don't say that.
You're mistaken. You're just a bit shaken-up.
So, relax.
Here, just have a seat. Have a drink. Rest your aching feet.
No, please. Where is my son, my daughter? Were they lost in the water?
Hush...
No, please...
Hush...
...tell me.
Hello, Mother, Father, don't cry. Let your tears dry.
We were lost but now we're found.
We sank be never drowned.
We are crowned in coral
Come back.
We hear children sing.
Deep in the blue, all here is tender and true.
Our souls are swimming.
Deep in the depths, never have we felt so alive.
Just breath.
Don't worry, Mom. We're deep in the calm.
Immersed in beauty and swaddled in sleep.
Now we must go. For now, we will say good bye...
No, wait!
Don't go!
Time is up. We think you've seen enough.
Let us show you to your room.
No, please.
Just let us join our children.
We need this to fill in the hole
(Have a seat. Have a drink)
...in our souls
(Just relax. In due time)
Patience, please.
Let us put you at ease.
Our babies aren't with us.
Who are you to deny us?
Hush...
No, please...
Hush...
No, please...
Hush...
No, please...
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7. |
Slither
03:43
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She slithers through the crowd oozing venom and sleaze.
With a slit-eyed stare, she brings grown men to their knees.
A fork for a tongue and some knives for the fangs
(I've been slain)
When she shakes her rattle, it makes my heart come to a stop.
She got crimson scales from the tail to the top.
She's a demon and a witch.
She's the scratch to my itch.
Oh, baby, where you been?
Just sink your teeth in.
Slither. Come hither with
poison for a fiend.
Swallow me whole.
You're my only serpent queen.
Lick me. Make me sickly.
Marked with your breath.
Hold me in your grip.
Kiss me to death.
She's as old as the dirt on the earth.
She's the devil. She knows how much your soul's worth.
I'm sorry. It ain't much.
If only you felt her touch
(I've been slain)
I'd go to battle at the beckon of her hiss.
Adorned with a rattle and bite marks on my wrist.
She's a lover like no other.
A coldblooded mother.
I've been waiting all night for your bite.
Slither. Come hither with
poison for a fiend.
Swallow me whole.
You're my only serpent queen.
Lick me. Make me sickly.
Marked with your breath.
Hold me in your grip.
Kiss me to death.
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8. |
Halloween Party
03:32
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Alright, I brushed my hair back and popped my pimples.
I am ready to enter this room.
Right now, I'm just a boy but that's OK. I'll be a man soon.
Let's go.
I've been drinking for what felt like days
I've been brushing my teeth but the smell won't go away.
I tried bathin' and shavin'. I think I need some savin'.
You know what the “H” means?
Jesus Hygiene Christ.
I'm wearing jeans that are just too tight
(Oh, no). I saw this girl at this party tonight.
So I'm jumpin'. Fist pumpin'.
I'm hopin' for some humpin'.
We made eye contact
at least once or twice.
She said, “make like a tree and leave”.
I don't wanna be alone.
“Well, too bad. Go home. Just go home”.
I got the courage to get up and dance
(Oh, no). I stepped too wide and I split my pants.
My lefty, my righty stickin' out my tighty-whities.
What do I do?
Pull yourself together, man.
I try to tip-toe to the corner of the room to hide myself and my split pantaloons.
God, I'm ugly.
No, I'm fugly.
Yes, that label fits me snugly just like my poor pants.
God, I hate myself. Why did I bring myself here?
Don't mind me...
Alright, pull yourself and your pants together.
It's not the end of the world.
It's a Halloween party after all.
You can just say it's part of your costume or put on a mask and no one will ever have to know it's you.
It's OK. You'll get through this.
Aah-ooooooooooooh.
Please, don't mind me.
I just want some punch.
I wanna get piss drunk tonight so I can pretend this never happened.
“Will you please stop breathing on me?”
I don't wanna be alone.
“Well, too bad. Go home. Just go home.”
God, I hate myself.
Why did I bring myself here?
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9. |
Mother Funker
03:25
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Momma gonna put you into your place
Momma say she gonna sit on your face.
People call it backwards birth.
Feels like you're swallowed by the earth.
Momma say you gotta ugly mug
She squash you like a bug.
Momma says you ain't a man.
She gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Ain't nothin' but trouser trout.
Man Eater. Boy Beater.
Love takes its toll.
She needs a 2-liter spunk feeder
Up in her hole.
She needs a rock in her roll.
Mother Funker.
Momma don't want no diamond ring.
She wants them fleshy things.
She makes cows look slim.
She gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Ain't nothin' but trouser trout without the length.
Man Eater. Boy Beater.
Love takes its toll.
She needs a 2-liter spunk feeder
Up in her hole.
She needs a rock in her roll.
Mother Funker.
Man Eater. Boy Beater.
Love takes its toll.
She needs a 2-liter spunk feeder
Up in her hole.
She needs a rock in her roll.
Mother Funker.
Yeah, she's a Mother Funker.
She got-got-got-got-got that spunk to her step.
She's a funk lovin', hunk humpin', chunk of woman.
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10. |
We Got A Runner
03:16
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Wait, wait, wait.
Something's not right.
Something's off.
He hasn't touched his food.
Did we park too close?
Did he see our disguise?
He's sitting too stiff.
He knows something's up.
He knows he's being watched.
Look, he's getting up to leave.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
C'mon, now we better
GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO
Take the front. I'll take the back.
Don't let him leave
Don't let him slip
through your iron grip
Stick 'em up.
Now we got you.
We never forgot you.
Come with us. You belong with us.
No use in running. We always come gunning for you.
We have no use
for your excuse
Escaping us and forsaking us.
No use in running. We always come gunning for...
...Shut up. Get down.
Alright, we got him in the car.
Let's go and wrap this up.
I got a hot date.
Once this all is said and done,
I can't wait to...
Hold on. Where did he go?
Didn't you lock the car?
You stupid, incompetent piece of
Shit. Oh, fuck. We're
shit outta luck.
Oh, look, there he is.
Well, Goddammit. Go get him.
Stick 'em up.
Now we got you.
We never forgot you.
Come with us. You belong with us.
No use in running. We always come gunning for you.
We have no use
for your excuse
Escaping us and forsaking us.
No use in running. We always come gunning for...
...Shut up. Get down.
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11. |
You Gonna Love Me, Woman
04:22
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You gonna love me, Woman.
Whether you like it or not.
I say you gonna love me, Woman.
'Cuz I'm such a cool hotshot.
Yes, yes, yes. I've been told more than once that I'm ugly as sin
But I'll love you in places no one's ever been.
Yeah, I know I smell like piss.
Admittedly, I am an acquired taste.
But you gonna love to taste this.
I've been told my mind's dirtier than a used rubber and it makes a crapper look clean.
I'm the filthiest horn dog the world's ever seen.
Yeah, you're my woman.
Gonna chase you around.
Yeah, you're my woman.
I'm up to go down on you.
Hungrily. Chew gnawingly.
Bite on your bits
Yeah, you're my woman and
my love won't quit
I'm gonna love you, woman.
In the only way that I can.
You say I'm gonna love you, woman.
'Cuz I'm your little slave of a man.
Yeah, you know you got a dirty mouth, makes a sailor blush.
You got such a big laugh, makes a crowd go hush.
Your cherry
Ain't very
Sweet but I don't care
'cuz it's all mine
Yeah, you're my woman.
Gonna chase you around.
Yeah, you're my woman.
I'm up to go down on you.
Hungrily. Chew gnawingly.
Bite on your bits
Yeah, you're my woman and
my love won't quit
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Lou Kelly California
Lou Kelly is a creator of distracting background music from somewhere in California.
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